The other day I had a bit of an epiphany, a voila moment! I'm not a person who tends to take a ton of time to think and think and think about something and then I have a lightbulb go off inside my mind. Usually, I have an idea about something I want to do or I don't. I take action or I don't. That being said, I do believe in taking time to mull over one's ideas- to digest, to process, to go for a swim in your mind's vitreous (that's medical talk for the liquid in your eye). I keep talking to people, reading about people's dating life and A LOT of people keep telling me or keep telling each other. I CAN'T DATE. I'm too different, too unusual, too ugly, too fat, too nervous, too strange. People don't get me. I cannot get me. I cannot believe in me even when other's do and it makes me undateable. No one wants me I'm a widow, sober, divorcee, living with a chronic illness. I'm so uncomfortable that I don't know what to say.
So what's the uniting factor here? I kept thinking a thinking and thinking. I try to think about things in themes, in terms of universal ideas. I was trying to zoom out and then it hit me.
Everyone who feels like they cannot date, feels like they are the ONLY ONE. They feel like they are different and that everyone else is "NORMAL," that everyone who has found a long-term partner (or more than one) is dateable and they they are the odd person out. And I realized- I'm trying to develop a dating community for people who feel DIFFERENT! So I'm here to tell you,
If you were, I wouldn't have a job or as a therapist as a dating coach. I wouldn't have spent the past year and a half of my life pouring through Reddits and Sub-Reddits, Facebook posts and Instagram feed. Let's let our inner weirdo, different, too busy, scare or uncomfortable to date selves unite and create a community with people who can get their butts out there and date like ya mean it!